The Design

I was walking along the promenade. The lights of the Queen's Necklace visible in the distance. The sea waves gently crashing on the shore.

Words kept flitting in and out of my mind - Inflation, Corruption, Rating Downgrade, Crash, Double Dip, Eurozone, Unemployment, Unusually Uncertain...Facts & Figures, Graphs, Pictures...

Then I saw him.

There was something eerie about him. Dirty, unkempt, mangy. His clothes torn, his hair dishevelled. And yet his face seemed oddly familiar.

He saw me. His fingers were clasping a piece of paper tightly. His hands were quivering.

He spoke to me, as one does with someone known but unfamiliar.

"The Design. The Design. I have figured out the Design"

His eyes had a strange gleam. His face had a suppressed smile, as if he was trying hard to restrain his excitement.

"Can you see? Can you see the Design?"

He pointed to the piece of paper. It was blank.

I stood, struggling to make sense.

"This is the Design. Why don't you see? This is the Design!"

I shook my head sadly. "Sir, that paper is blank" I said

The man could no longer contain himself. He burst out laughing.

"You don't see. You just don't see."

I got irritated. "There's nothing to see!" I retorted.

"Exactly" he said, and walked away; While I was left standing...

Main...

Pakadkay jisay chalna seekha tunay, Woh ungli main hoon
Sisak-sisak roya tha tu jispay, Woh kandha main hoon
Hamesha judi thi jo tujhsay, Woh umeed main hoon
Bimaar dekh tujhay jo uthti, Woh bechaini main hoon
Bheed mein tujhay jo dhoondti, Woh nazar main hoon
Niraasha mein sambhaala jisnay, Woh aashwaasan main hoon
Soch ko teri banaaya jisnay, Woh protsaahan main hoon
Sudhaara galtiyon ko teri jisnay, Woh tamaacha main hoon
Panapnay diya vyaktitva ko jisnay, Woh prerna main hoon
Meri kamiyaan dikhaai jisnay, Woh aaina main hoon
Chuppi saadhay hai tu jinsay, Woh armaan main hoon
Jawaab bhool raha hai tu jinkay, Woh sawaal main hoon
Mooh pher raha hai tu jissay, Woh niraasha main hoon
Pehchaannay se inkar hai jisko, Woh darr main hoon
Andekha kar raha hai tu jisay, Woh saakshaat main hoon
Jo tera bhavishya hoga kabhi, Woh vartmaan main hoon...

FBpath...

(With sincere apologies to Dr HRB)

FBpath, FBpath, FBpath
Friends hon online bhalay
Hon chat pay present teray
Ek status like bhi
Maang mat, maang mat, maang mat
FBpath FBpath FBpath

Tu na log-off hoga kabhi
Tu na offline rahega kabhi
Tu na sign-out karega kabhi
Kar shapath, kar shapath, kar shapath
FBpath FBpath FBpath

Yeh mahaan screenshot hai
Browse kar raha manushya hai
Spam-virus-apps say
Lathpath, lathpath, lathpath
FBpath, FBpath, FBpath

A Letter to the Prime Minister

Dear Prime Minister Sir, Dr Manmohan Singhji:

For the last 15 years or so, I have been reading and hearing about the impending miracle that India is. It first started with the Prophecies of Nostradamus, who supposedly predicted more than 400 years ago that India would one day rise to become a global superpower. Slowly the idea took shape, in the media, in magazines, books, the TV, people all around started talking about it. And the talk only grew with time. By 2004, your leading opposition party had even made "India Shining" its poll slogan, albeit one which resulted in abject defeat for it.

I grew up with an air of quiet confidence, and I saw change all around me. I didn't carry the baggage of our previous generation, which was used to a very different kind of India, which was restricted, which bound people. I grew up reading about the brain drain, about value conscious, money saving Indians who shunned ostentation, about engineering and medicine being the only possible career options (or else, elders would thunder - you are resigned to cutting grass). But I also remember sensing a tiny voice inside my head, telling me that this doesn't seem to be correct. What I was seeing was at odds with what I was told was the truth. I remember reading something vaguely about a payment crisis, about "liberalization", a word which I struggled to pronounce.

And then, more than 7 years ago, I remember that you became the Prime Minister.

I remember hope. About a decent man who would be at the helm of affairs in running the country. I shrugged aside the cynicism, the malicious remarks about "family retainers" and "seat warming"

I remember pride. In forwarding your exceptionally distinguished CV to everyone I could think of, with the "Can you guess who this person is" tagline

I remember confidence. In the quote of Victor Hugo which you used while commending the Budget to Parliament on that fateful day in July 1991.

I remember euphoria. When your party won an overwhelming majority and stock markets rallied by 20% in one day.

Thats how big a game changer it was. I rejoiced. No longer would you need to grovel before the ungrateful Left or the Ammas & Didis of the world.

You were always a decent man in an indecent time. I commiserated with you for the set of people you had to work with. Men and women of a far lesser standing, I reasoned.

But now, I am unable to comprehend anything.

I do not comprehend the deterioration in internal security that has taken place with alarming proportions.

I do not comprehend the corruption scandals which tumble out one after the other with numbing alacrity.

And worst of all, I do not comprehend the helpless look on your face. I do not comprehend your loss of dignity.

The Mahabharata states that Yudhishtira alone of all men, was truth personified. His chariot used to float above the ground, in honour of that status. But one small half-truth changed everything, and his chariot from then on always touched the ground.

I see your chariot doing the same. All those mediocre people who surround you, look at what they have reduced you to - from a great statesman to an ordinary politican. It is painful to watch.

True, you head an elected Government. India can remove you at the end of your 5 year term. But India is changing too fast. India cannot wait for 5 years to seek change. In fact the need of the hour is to introduce a rule which makes the Government seek a popular referendum at least mid-term to continue in office.

I would love to believe you. I would love to believe that things will be all right. I would love to give hope another chance. But somehow I am not able to do it.

Yours Sorrowfully,

An ordinary Indian

Identity Hierarchy & Religious Leaders...

A person can define his identity in innumerable ways. It can be on the basis of nationality, religion, education and so on. These identities will usually follow some hierarchy. For me, for example, species comes at the top. I think of myself as a human being first. When its a question of nationality and religion, I am somewhat confused. I believe the Indian ethos of secularism allows us to choose our hierarchy as to nationality and religion. I am not suggesting that nationality is subservient to religion or vice-versa. I am only saying that to some extent, India allows its citizens to define their identity by their religion first and their nationality second if they so choose. There is an apparent contradiction here, for to have this freedom of hierarchy, one will need to be an Indian. However, Indian nationality needs to be one of the levels of the hierarchy, not necessarily the topmost in all circumstances. The clearest illustration of what I am saying lies in the fact that we don't have a common civil code.

Throughout history, "religious heads" (no matter which religion) have always tried to increase their importance by declaring such things to be un-religious as which undermine their power; By restricting the flow of knowledge, ensuring economic backwardness and maintaining ignorance, they maintain their hold; What a religious leader says, is not the word of God; It is his interpretation of it; And it is more often than not, twisted and restricted to suit his ulterior motives

I still remember an episode of (of all things) Jonny Quest. One of the protagonists, named Race Bannon is being given some false mumbo-jumbo by a person who claims he can talk to spirits. When Race argues, the person says "You must not question the spirits, Mr Bannon". Race snaps back "It's not the spirits I am questioning. It's you". Bingo.

Imam Bukhari's statement I don't deem important enough to comment on. Hopefully he's becoming more irrelevant over time; The greatest enemy for such people is lack of attention and publicity and I hope it will increase to the point where people are not bothered about what he says anymore.

Indian Muslims would be as or more aggrieved by corruption in India as any other community They can and should protest accordingly; They need not be part of Anna Hazare's movement for that. Anna Hazare's movement is just one part of the battle against corruption.

However, if saying "Vande Mataram" is against the tenets of Islam (which according to me is a matter of context and interpretation but I leave it at that), then why don't we come up with an Islam compliant slogan, which can also suitably convey the feelings of Indian Muslims for India? This idea is in consonance with the thoughts that I have expressed in the first paragraph and retains the spirit of Indian secularism as to the freedom in identity hierarchy. Rather than imposing a nationality-first ideology, it allows space for Indian Muslims to reconcile any conflicts they may face in pursuing their faith and their nationality.

Bond in the USA...

(With apologies to The Boss)

Got issued in an unwind spree
The first yield I got was when I hit the screen
You end up like a short that's been down too much
Till you spend half your cash just covering up...

Bond in the USA, I was bond in the USA
I was bond in the USA, Bond in the USA...

Got in a little ceiling jam

So they put a downgrade on my band

Sent me off to a foreign land

To go and woo the yellow man

Bond in the USA...
Came back home to Wall Street
Goldie Man said Son if it was up to me
Went down to see my Federal man
He said Son, don't you understand

I had an auction at Hong Kong
Fighting off the Spec Longs
They're still there, that's all gone

It had a bank who bet money a lot

I got the news of its failing just now

Down in the floor of the Assembly
Out by the terminals of the Treasury
I'm ten years maturing down the road
Nowhere to default got nowhere to go

Bond in the USA, I was bond in the USA,
Bond in the USA, I'm a Gone Long Asset in the USA
Bond in the USA, Bond in the USA,
Bond in the USA, I'm a Cool Rocking Asset in the USA...

On Independence Day, 50 Reasons To Be Happy & Hopeful...

1) The soon to happen overtaking of Japan. The 3rd largest economy in the world.

2) The 2011 Cricket World Cup. It was a high. Admit it.

3) The media. Rambunctious. Misguided. But free.

4) Over 700 million mobile connections. India is always calling.

5) The Supreme Court

6) No censorship in Google searches

7) The 1 auto rickshaw driver out of 100 who takes you where you want, cheerfully, at the first attempt

8) Secularism. Imperfect, but existing. Aren't we all?

9) Ads. The HDFC Standard Life Insurance ad. Two fathers, very seriously & positively discussing the futures of their daughters. Alternatively, the SBI ad where two old ladies visit their brother. Always brought tears to my eyes.

10) Food. Was there ever such an amazing variety! Tandoori Chicken, Dosas, Pav Bhaji & Rasgullas, never ends!

11) Festivals. Don't we love them all? The myriad colours, the ceremonies, the celebrations?

12) Nimbu Paani. Nothing's more refreshing

13) CAG

14) Modern Airports. If anyone had told me 10 years back that there would be spas in our departure lounges, I would have died laughing.

15) The Delhi Metro.

16) The Super-strong Family System. With you. For you. Always. (With apologies to Delhi Police)

17)  Traditional Weddings. Elaborate. Outsized. Required.

18) Musical Instruments. The mournful strains of the Shehnai, the captivating melody of the Flute, the mellifluous tingling of the Santoor, the rhythmic resonance of the Sitar...Bliss

19) Monsoons. The longing. The oneness.

20) IT. Yes, its something we are good at. 

21) Education. And its ethos. So much respect.

22) Historical monuments. Thousands of them. Each one tells a story.

23) The saints and reformers. Who spread the message of equality, peace, compassion and harmony. 

24) 845 spoken dialects

25) 0

26)  The Armed Forces. Protecting our borders. Keeping peace in far flung foreign lands.

27) Mythology. Every conceivable topic under the sun. So rich, so complex, so mesmerizing.

28) Freedom fighters. So brave. To die for hope, for the unseen.

29) Hill stations. Up above the world so high.

30) Jugaad. Can do. Will figure out.

31) Beaches. Who's to question what the sea-shells say?

32) Movies. The drama. The song & dance routines. The immortal lines.

33) Yoga. The perfect union of mind and body.

34) Classical dances. Far beyond the material plane.

35) Sand dunes in the deserts. Challenging. Inspiring.

36) Literature. Too vast to even begin describing.

37) Election Commission. A 120 crore strong democracy. Not an easy task.

38) ISRO. Don't underestimate all the satellites.

39) Television. 200+ channels. Spoilt for choice.

40)  Folk Dances. Bhangda. Laavni. Daandiya. Really get you in the groove.

41) Sportsmen. P Gopichand, Saina Nehwal, Leander Paes, Karnam Malleswari, Rajyavardhan Rathore, Vijender Kumar. Against all odds.

42) Fauna. The majestic tigers. The magnificent elephants. The stunning peacocks. Mind-blowing.

43) Theatre. Powerful narratives. Tell it like it is. 

44) RTI. Have you tried it yet?

45) Online transactions. Banking, Ticketing, E-Filing of Returns. So much time saved.

46) Progress in health standards. Live better. Live longer.

47) Demographic dividend. The biggest challenge. The biggest opportunity.

48) Aadhar. It will work.

49) Artists. Singers, Actors, Musicians, Painters. So much talent.

50) Possibility. Its difficult, but its possible. It's India.

Blurred...

I draw on the canvas a form indistinct
The rains lash across; A blur remains

Your tears were your own to cry
No one, you said, had the right to pry
Was I wrong not to wipe them all off?
Was I wrong not to give myself away?

You said you found peace in the darkness
How could I then take you to the light?
Was I wrong to watch you, helpless?
Was I wrong because I was right?

There was & is only nothingness, you say
But that was choice, and also was fate
A cruel pair that held us in its sway
Why does hope now make you shy away?

I stand inert, the blankness is the same

How blurred my canvas, how empty my frame...

Mumbai's Auto Waalas - Cheats, Thieves, Blackmailers and Robbers...

There was a period of time when auto rickshaw drivers in Mumbai were very professional and ethical people (Yes I have experienced it!!!)

Over the years, and since the last one year in particular, when the fares were increased by 30% in June 2010, they have become far ruder, lazier and more unethical on an average. Almost all meters are manipulated to the extent of at least 10%-15%.


Hailing an auto has become a nightmare for most of us. These people simply do not want to go anywhere. The problem post the fare increase is that they are able to make a living with fewer trips and hence do not give a damn about where commuters want to go since they manage to find enough people anyway.Traffic policemen are too busy harassing hapless commuters to fulfill their official and unofficial fine collection targets, to be disciplining them.


They have no civic or traffic sense. They spit all over the place, have no lane or signal discipline and park where they please.

One of the worst places to hail an auto from is the Airport. It is a complete nightmare. I start dreading that part of it months before I am taking any flight.

Now they have a list of demands: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Transport-chief-meets-auto-union-over-demands/articleshow/9401613.cms

Firstly, even if they go on strike, I don't think it will affect too many of us. We don't get an auto most of the time anyway.

Secondly, why should they be allowed in the city limits? Aren't the suburbs a shining example of how bad things become with them? The modicum of sanity that prevails in the city will be lost. Imagine places like Marine Drive with autos crawling all over it. Ugly.

Thirdly, just a year back fares were increased by 30% without any increase in fuel prices. What cost of living index are they talking about? Its just plain greed because they think they can make more money.

Fourthly, what do the commuters get in return even if the demands are agreed to? Things will only become worse. With the additional city area for them to ply in, they will only agree for long distances, the way taxis do now. It will be a nightmare.

Fifthly, what assurance can they give about their rude behaviour and refusals to ply? None. They are just out to make a fast buck. And they are increasingly trying to bias it in their favour and make it worse.

I think refusing a commuter should be made a non-bailable criminal offence. Then there may be some deterrent. Let that be a counter demand from the commuters' side.

I wonder how stupid those one lakh people who signed on the petition supporting the auto drivers are. They don't realise they have signed their own death warrant. Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.

The problem is that their demands will be met in some form, increasing the horrors for most of us. If there was a strong Commuter's Union, it could co-ordinate effectively and make sure that commuters grievances were taken into account. We are too scattered and disenfranchised for that. In that kind of a situation, we can't depend on the system to take care. We have to fall back on the old maxim of jugaad.

Pannay

Aaj mainay kuch pannay paltay
Kuch yaadein jholi mein bikhar gayi
Yaadein jo beetay kal ki umeedein thi
Yaadein jinki ab umeed hai nahi

Kitna kuch tha tab jo ab nahi hai
Kitna kuch nahi tha tab jo ab hai
Kuch qaid hai lekin pannon mein ab bhi
Jo mujh say wohi sawaal poochta hai
Aakhir yoon na hota to kaisa hota?
Fir un pannon ka aakar kaisa hota?

Lekin umeed pannon ki fitrat mein nahi
Fir pannon ko kya kosna, palatna kya
Umeed to kal par aaj ki parchhai hai
Woh kal to apni marzi se hi aayega
Us kal se hi to umeedein saji hain
Us kal se hi to naye pannay banengay...

Escapism 2.0

Bollywood has long been derided for producing and promoting escapist cinema. The antics of lead characters, action sequences, song and dance routines, melodramatic finales and the underdog triumphing against all odds - these were the hallmark of Bollywood films for a long time. For an economy which operated under an autarkic, insular mentality for nearly 5 decades after Independence, cinema, apart from cricket, was the one ray of light. It provided much needed succour to the ordinary Indian, buried under corruption, scarcity and underdevelopment.

This was Escapism 1.0 - the escapism of a country that wasn't quite sure where it stood, the escapism of a country which had so much of reality in reality that it desired no more in cinema (In many ways, Dabangg last year was a tribute to Escapism 1.0, while Bollywood Calling was one of the most masterful depictions of it)

With time, film-making has changed and evolved (evolution is not necessarily a positive term by the way - it is just a fact). One can suppose that a near-total consensus exists that on an average, the films being made now are more realistic than before. The use of the word realistic however, is open to interpretation and highly subjective. Delhi Belly is realistic (arguably) in many elements such as the conversational styles between characters, their professions, living standards and so on. But is it more realistic in the core plot? How many of us are expecting to be the target of a diamond-smuggling gang tonight? What then is "realistic" cinema? A truly realistic film based on the lives of many of us would show the lead character working from say 9 AM to 7 PM every weekday, going home, facing hordes of insurmountable traffic on the way, watching TV, going out on weekends and so on. It sounds mad when put that way, but that is what our reality is! In that sense, Delhi Bellhy definitely is not "realistic" cinema. In fact, no movie would then come under that category.

Reality is routine. Reality is continuous. Reality is boring unless we are constantly engaged in processes that stimulate us and we take up tasks that we enjoy doing. And that simply is not possible most of the time. In fact more many of us, its the exception rather than the rule.

With time India has changed and is changing. I can't claim to be an expert on it, but I can feel it everywhere. Surveys now highlight how brand conscious Indians have become, vis-a-vis surveys 10 years back which used to harp on how value conscious Indian consumers were. Indians have become richer on an average and are spending more. We are more conscious of what's happening in the world and are more confident about ourselves. Growth has changed India.

At the same time, growth has not been uniform. I remember an article in my English textbook, which had the following line about India: "India is like a snake, with its head in the 21st century and its tail in the 17th century" The same holds true today. In particular, while many people have become richer than before, institutional and infrastructural growth has not kept pace. That is why the same city where a bungalow is sold for 270 crores has its phone lines jammed after a bomb blast.

This leave many of us confused and irritated. Many of us now earn well, work hard and party harder. But the eyesores do not go away. We yearn for a controlled atmosphere, a system. We yearn for someone to take these irritants and drags of traffic, slums, bomb blasts and pesky auto rickshaw drivers away. If done, it would leave us free to concentrate on our core ambitions. Its no longer about having a secure job and getting Munni married. It's all about dreams, ambitions and personal fulfilment now. We are still bored in our daily lives. We crave for exaltation of a different kind. We desire a system in which we are free to pursue what we want, without encumbrances.

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara exemplifies this. Everything is very nice, almost utopic. There are no murders, robberies or safety problems. Everyone is reasonably to very well-to-do. It's  a film which not only sells well-toned bodies, captivating poetry and breathtaking locales; it also sells a controlled atmosphere.

Taking all the drags out of the picture leaves the films of today to focus on what perhaps many of us today want to see - smart dialogues and punch lines, good performances, interplay between characters, emotions, personal struggles and how they are ovecome. Its not about sacrificing oneself for the country or saving the world. The focus is on individuals. Its more about self-actualization for the confused soul. We have the physiological basics in place. Or rather, the "we seem to have everything, but something's missing" mentality. Cinema now depicts people finding that missing piece.

Welcome, then, to Escapism 2.0!

Kaisay rahun dekhay bin...(A translated song)

Always wanted to translate this English song into Hindi (would be superfluous to name it - figure it out; Will be much easier to sing along then!)

Jaagun saari raat, mahsoos ho teri saansayyy...
Chehray pay woh teri muskaan, teray khwab woh haseen
Guzaaron jeevan, teri hi panaah meinnn...
Khoya rahun hamesha is pal mein
Har ek pal tere saath hai kitna anmolll...
Kaisay rahun dekhay binnn...
Tujhe har raat aur din
Kyunki tu jo nahi to
Main bhi kuch nahin hoon

Khwaab ho chaahay jitna haseen
Tere bin woh khwaab nahi
Kyunki tu jo nahi to
Main bhi kuch nahin hoon

Tere paas rahun, sunoon teri dhadkanein
Aaun khwabon mein teray, sajaaun sapnay saaray
Main hoon khush itna, ki tu jo meray saath hai
Tere saath hi rahun main bas hamesha, hamesha, hameshaaa....

Kaisay rahun dekhay binnn...
Tujhe har raat aur din
Kyunki tu jo nahi to
Main bhi kuch nahin hoon...

Tears...

Tears of joy. For the absolute good. The good not asked for or striven for. The good that just is.

Tears of rage. For violations. Transgressions. The subservience of morality to indulgence.

Tears of fear. For hunger not satiated. For protection not available. For vulnerability.

Tears of innocence. For purity to be nurtured. For it to not get ravaged.

Tears of grief. For the mockingbird not saved. For possibility denied. For the choice that couldn't be.

Tears of reason. For the willful neglect of logic. By family. Friends. Colleagues. Strangers.

Tears of loneliness. For emptiness. For the mind tethered and left by itself.


Tears of hope. For that which may. For the slim chance. For the ray of light.

Tears of fulfillment. When the outcome long foreseen happens. When the illusion of control is foregone. When peace is attained.

Sherlock Holmes - Favourite Quotes

The body of Shelock Holmes' literature created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, is replete with a rich assortment of quotable quotes. Though they occur in the context of his narratives of Holmes as an investigator, they are applicable to all walks of life. I find that a lot of them apply to business management and financial markets. Below are some of my favourites:

1) "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth..."

This is one of the recurring statements; It is mentioned in multiple stories with slight variations. Simple as it sounds, it's one of the cornerstones of any logical analysis.


2) "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts."

We all do this so many times. We have our own views, hypotheses, prejudices and biases. Once those are framed, we obstinately cling to them even when the evidence suggests otherwise. Many financial market traders make this mistake in particular.


3) "You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear"

4) "There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact."

This happens in financial markets all the time. When everyone "knows" something and takes it for granted, the markets end up moving the other way!!!

5) "The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes."

6) "It is of the highest importance in the art of detection to be able to recognize, out of a number of facts, which are incidental and which vital. Otherwise your energy and attention must be dissipated instead of being concentrated."

80/20 at its best. Humans tend to use inductive rationality to make decisions for the future, which is necessary. They cannot process all the information that is available, nor is it necessary. Merely processing additional information does not add to the quality of the decision that gets taken.


7) "We balance probabilities and choose the most likely. It is the scientific use of the imagination."

This is THE requirement of decision making. It is a mistake to construct only one scenario as a possible future outcome. There are multiple scenarios possible, each with differing probabilities.Construct, and then choose.


8) "It is impossible as I state it, and therefore I must in some respect have stated it wrong."

Many a times I have noticed, seemingly, one arrives at the same view or possible outcome, even in differing scenarios. For example, if inflation is higher, equities will react negatively, so buy USD-INR. If inflation is lower, interest rate differentials will narrow, so buy USD-INR. Clearly, we are missing out on what factors are really driving USD-INR.

9) "Education never ends Watson. It is a series of lessons with the greatest for the last."

Truly instructive on how important continual learning is!

10) "We must look for consistency. Where there is a want of it we must suspect deception."

While forming views, often people become subservient to it and try to manipulate opinions accordingly.There has to be consistency in what assumptions one makes. Assumptions are made in two areas: 1) What will happen, and 2) What will be its effect. We may mistakes in either or both at times.


11) "The more outré and grotesque an incident is the more carefully it deserves to be examined, and the very point which appears to complicate a case is, when duly considered and scientifically handled, the one which is most likely to elucidate it."

Beauty of a statement. Many a times we observe that market movements are contrary to the kind of correlations which we expect. Further examination and thought reveals that they actually make complete sense.

12) "I cannot agree with those who rank modesty among the virtues. To the logician all things should be seen exactly as they are, and to underestimate one's self is as much a departure from truth as to exaggerate one's own powers."

Understand

You may not understand my bad habits. Understand the good ones.

You may not understand the times when I was not there. Understand the times when I was.

You may not understand the times I did not praise. Understand the times when I did not criticize.

You may not understand what I spoke. Understand what I left unspoken.

You may not understand why I didn't do what you told me to. Understand why I did what you did not tell me to.

You may not understand the lies I spread. Understand the truth I hid.

You may not understand my dreams. Understand my passion for them.

You may not understand what I am thinking. Understand what I am feeling.

You may not understand how important I am to you. Understand how important you are to me.

You may not understand me. Understand yourself.

Aching News: Al-Qaeda to float IPO, raise funds

In what is being dubbed as the first ever transaction of its kind, Al-Qaeda, the world's leading discretionary terror dissemination MNC, has decided to raise funds for expanding its activities through an IPO.

A spokesman for Al-Qaeda said "We believe investors worldwide are looking for newer avenues to put money in. We believe we have the right fundamentalists to attract investments. In the long term, we aim to be present across all components of the terror value chain, with best in class services. People are our biggest assets, with most of them being current assets"

Dim O'Meal, Head of Research of Goldie Gold Investment Bank, has a bullish view on the stock. "Our proprietary Stockwise Holistically Integrated Technicals (S.H.I.T) model suggests that the stock is a good defensive play to hedge downside risks for investors. The stock acts as a leading indicator of  downturns in economic activity, for obvious reasons"

Chiina has already expressed support for the IPO. "It is a natural hedge for us to diversify out of our huge base of worthless US dollars. Between monetary terrorism and people terrorism, we have always preferred the latter"

Al-Qaeda is also considering issuing a convertible bond. The spokesman remarked "The structure of the convertible bond is quite simple. At the end of the maturity period, the investor either converts or gets redeemed..."

First Salaries...

I see a lot of fresh, enthusiastic minds from the 2011 batch of XLRI putting up status updates on Facebook about the ecstasies and raptures of them receiving their first salaries.

It's a powerful, heady feeling. The ultimate coming of age event. A voice rings withing you saying "Hereupon, I cease to be a dependant monetarily. Henceforth, I take responsibility for fulfilling my needs and those of others connected with me, whether now or in future"

I recollect Mr Narayan Murthy's statement in a TV show: "Money bestows upon you tremendous power. The power to give"

No no, don't get me wrong, I am not advocating donating it all to charity or something (though a small percentage towards that end will certainly not be harmful!)

But there's still a lot that could be done.

The classical Hindi film hero would get a sari for his Mom after 25 years of her wearing the same sari.

Or if you are Salman Khan, you would slug it out with Mohnish Behl and his baddies in rain and slush before you could take the money home to convince your beloved's father to let her marry you.

One time-tested technique is to remember all those who really, really matter to you and who made a difference to your life. There must be at least some of those. You could get something for them. Nice, thoughtful and personalized.

Like that beautiful song from the movie Papa Kahte Hain: "Yeh jo thode se hain paise; Kharch tum par karun kaise..."

Or that touching lesson in the old Hindi textbook about a little boy who works hard to buy a pair of pincers for his mother so that she doesn't have to pick up the rotis from the hot stove by hand.

Particularly when buying for elders, what works well is identifying something that you believe they need, but which they will never in a million years buy for themselves. I had bought a cellphone for my grandmother with my first salary. She looked at me, with all the accumulated unease of 77 years and said "Beta, what will I do with this?" I could only smile in reply. Happily, she's used it quite regularly since then.

Those People...

There are those people.

Why do you have to struggle so much with them at times? Why don't they understand your silence?

Why do they forget the times when you pandered to their whims? Why don't they understand what's important to you and let you make mistakes accordingly?

Why are they so binding? Why can't they trust your intentions and set you free? Why is there a need to prove your loyalty every time?

Why do they tell you that there's a problem and then not tell you what it is? Why do they want to watch you helplessly seeing them wither away?

Yep, there are those people...

MGRP takes cue from Bipasha Basu, to launch instructional video on goondaism...

An old post which didn't get posted; I had actually submitted it to a well known site which publishes such news; It got rejected by them as they felt they had published too many articles on the same theme already. A conversation with a friend reminded me of it today and I thought what the heck - why not post it now!!!

MGRP takes cue from Bipasha Basu, to launch instructional video on goondaism

After Bipasha Basu launched her sensational new video on fitness and exercise, the Maharashtra Goonda Raj Party is all set to launch its own instructional video on its core competency – goondaism.

An MGRP spokesman, who wished to remain unnamed, confirmed that the project was already underway and would soon be completed pending Supremo approval. Though the title is not finalised, our analysts expected it to be named “Mee, Mumbai Darr” (I, Mumbai Get Scared)

The publicity for the video is to be carried out through word-of-mouth on YourTube & FaeceBook as well as outdoor billboards. The concept draft for the campaign depicts a moustached man in a saffron kurta-pyjama with the tagline “Gheun Taak” (Roughly translated as “Take’em Apart”).

Though they remained tight-lipped about the content, our sources suggest that it will have a comprehensive coverage of goondaism in Maharashtra, with live demonstrations by an assortment of subject matter experts. Among other things, the video is expected to have sections on vandalism in cinema halls, road blockages, issuing threats to celebrities & shutting down offices. Special sections will include disruption of Valentine’s Day celebrations & intimidation of migrants.

Rahul Mahajan and Rakhi Savant have been roped in as Brand Ambassadors. Ramesh Todmarodkar, the publicity manager for the video, said “Rahul & Rakhi represent a young, vibrant & spunky Maharashtra, which inspite of facing deep-rooted issues and problems, is able to came out on top eventually.” The trailer for the video will depict Rahul & Rakhi slapping a Bihari auto-rickshaw driver for not speaking in Marathi & forcibly getting a romancing couple married.

A senior MGRP functionary said “The video shall take our ideology and physiology to the masses. It was a long cherished dream of Saaheb to ensure the spread of our philosophy to the common man. The dream is finally becoming a reality.”

So, mark the date in your calendar – “Mee, Mumbai Darr” releases, Feb 14th, 2010...

Mumbai Minute

He stared at the shattered headlight and the bus driver in front. As he started to get out of the car, she placed a restraining hand on his shoulder "Honey, please..."

He glanced at the urchin with sympathetic disdain "Boss, yeh fusht class hai. Pecial dabba hai.Niklo nahi to police pakadega..."

Chhotu was running along with the car barely holding on to the fast closing window shouting "Saahab, ek to lelo..."

The fruit seller was pleading "Mhaaster, ye baar chhod do.Ghar pe bachha bimaar hai"

"Haay haay kya jodi hai re. Raju ko dekho, ekdum saarukh khan dikhta hai. Itna chikna hai. De na! Arre kuch to de na!" The couple got embarassed and started to walk furiously...

The old gentleman was pushing past everyone on the narrow footpath. An irate young man retorted "Unkil! Kya karta hai?" The gent replied "Kya karun beta, humaara company mein seth log bahut shtreek hai..."

"Andheri east?" "Gas nahi hai miyaan. Gaadi dene ka bhi time hogaya hai" the driver said, moving the cab forward. Another passenger got into it.

Loud music blared from the speakers surrounding the huge idol on the truck, as men with saffron headbands danced around it. "Sanskruticha paalan karaavay laagtay"they told the protesting motorists...

"License jama karna padega. 15 din lagega. Aur 500 rupaye ka phaain. Abi bolo kya karneka hai?" The cop told him, looking at the 100 rupee note he was clasping nervously...

"Main bolta hain na teko,public ko akal nahi hai gaadi chalaaneka" he said, as he lowered the window and spat outside.

"Aai, baba kashaala oradtaat? Hi ghaanerdi vaas kashaachi?" she asked, as her mother held her tightly, suppressing her tears. He continued his slurred profanities.

The ambulance's siren was blaring behind her. She looked desperately for space around to give way to it but there was none.

"Dhakka kyun deta hai? Pehli baar train mein jaa raha hai kya?" He fumed on the school student behind him, who stared meekly.

"I will give you a sea facing flat." The broker grinned, displaying a line of betel-stained teeth. "Sea-facing? In Borivali?" "Yes, just wait for the rains..."

Pursuing passions...

I don't know if its just me. Perhaps, as usual, I am thinking too much. But the more I discuss and interact with people particularly in my age group, I am convinced that life crises are likely to occur amongst people much sooner these days. And its not easy to understand why, because when measured on traditional yardsticks, nothing really seems wrong.

The generation of our parents was truly a transformational generation. When they were our age, they did not inherit a comfortable support system. There was little time to think about job satisfaction and career progression. There were several priorities which demanded their time and attention. They had to set up things from scratch. They focused on having a steady job, a steady income, a decent place to live, education for kids, so on and so forth ad infinitum. With assiduous efforts, at the end of a period of 25-30 years, they were able to build a self-sustaining system. That system is what our generation has inherited.

Many of us started out with our first jobs knowing that they were an extra, an indulgence in the sense that there was no pressure on us to support the family. Yet somehow, our inherited values and the education system juxtaposed in a way which has ensured that we are still continuing to look at careers with the same scarcity mentality & steady income approach with which our parents used to. In their case, it was a necessity, and hats off to them for all their hard work. For many of us though, this was not the case. Yet, we have continued to value those sort of careers and degrees where cash flows are seen as most regular, instead of focusing on those possible avenues which we would enjoy pursuing and perform best in.

I am not saying that we are all doing things we hate doing. Many of us are probably fine with the things that we are pursuing. We may be good at them too. But are they tasks which we really enjoy? Have we made enough efforts to even understand what it is that excites and motivates us the most? I don't think so. Many of us have ended up where we have much the way the "case default" mode works in computer programming languages. Unless one takes the trouble of actively evaluating and then zeroing in on what he/she truly wants to do, one will end up doing what everyone does "by default". So, at different points of time, as the "defaults" kept changing - government service, medicine, engineering, IT, management; so did our career choices.

With the result that many people today are simply stuck in a rut. They are all doing things, one step to the next. The next promotion, the next "right" job switch, the marriage. Ticking off things on a checklist which they haven't made themselves, but which is the default template available in God's version of Word. No one is customizing the checklist.

Most of us know that we are stuck, with varying degrees of awareness. We acknowledge it. We even recognize what steps are needed to break away. And yet we are unable to proceed. One doesn't need to compulsorily make sudden disruptive changes and go hungry and foolish overnight. Some steps in the right direction over a period of time can definitely help in achieving a satisfactory equilibrium. The problem is we focus too much on the end result and too little on the process. It is like the man who loses his ring in a dark corner of the road but searches for it under the streetlight, because thats easier to do. The man forgets that he's far better off searching for it in the darkness where there's at least some chance of him finding it. We make the same mistakes. We stick to the comfort of a known path which we know has no chance of taking us to our destination, instead of the unknown path which has some chances.

I find it difficult to believe that one can be content with defining goals solely in terms of milestones and destinations. Goals must also include the processes. They must include what will transpire between the milestones. The journey. If life has to be lived through, surely thinking only of milestones is not enough because they will comprise less than 1% of the time that we spend. More than 99% of our time will be the things we do. In fact the most powerful way of goal setting is to let the milestone get derived as a logical consequence of the journey. Don't say you want to be the most famous actor in the world. Say that you love acting and really enjoy it and are passionate about it. Then say that you would be happy if in the process of acting, you end up becoming a famous actor. It's much more powerful when you state it in this manner, because your happiness is tied to the process of you acting and is not contingent on and limited to the moment when you become a famous actor.

Of course its difficult. Recognizing what one wants to do is not easy. But one needs to keep trying. I remember a course on personality development I had undertaken long back. The trainer told us a simple technique to try and identify our passions in life. He said: ponder, reflect and think - What is the one thing which you are prepared to do all your life, even if you don't get paid, even if other people don't take any interest in it? That's your passion. The desire to pursue it stays no matter how many the hardships. Its the thing you always manage to find time for. The thing you have energy to pursue at the fag end of a tiring day when you think you would drop off to sleep any moment, but you still end up doing.

It needs dedication and sustained efforts to achieve any sort of results. Breaking the inertia is very difficult. But if not done, it is certain that a time will come when one way or the other you are forced to drop everything and wonder what you are doing in life. Let that not be a forced outcome. Let it be a conscious choice.

Beggars Are Also Choosers...

Life''s little moments never cease to amaze me in their capacity to remind and instruct. What follows is a tale of three beggars with whom I interacted today.

As is my wont these days, I left from my office just after 5 PM. My cab stopped at the CST signal. Several times, an old lady is present there (the same old lady mentioned in my previous note), seeking alms from those willing to give.

I have developed a habit of carrying some small packets of Parle G biscuits. I prefer to give those to anyone on the streets in need, whom I encounter. I have come across the CST lady quite a few times earlier as well. Since she doesn't have fingers, I usually tear the packet and give it to her. I did the same today, and the lady was simply delighted. A smile of sublime radiance spread across her face and she exclaimed "Thanks! Thanks! I will have this with tea" I noted with great satisfaction how the lady chose to gracefully accept and be happy with what came her way. That is the kind of choice even a beggar can exercise.

The next beggar I encountered was at the National College signal in Bandra. Another old lady. She was scanning the vehicles and their passengers, looking for open windows. All of a sudden she caught my eye, and started moving towards my cab. I took out a packet and gave it to her. She took it, observed it for a moment, placed it on the window and walked away.

For a fleeting moment - the kind of moment which feels much longer than would be measured by a watch - I was shocked. A beggar refused what came her way. How can a beggar refuse? But then it dawned upon me that that was the whole point - even if beggars can't choose what comes their way, they can choose whether to accept or reject what does come.

Which brings me to the third beggar. Myself. Wasn't I also a beggar? Wasn't I begging for the intoxication of giving, the heady realization of being placed in a position to help others in need? Once I realized that, I knew what I had to do with the packet. I opened it, and ate all the biscuits.

It was my arrogance which sought to make me humble. I accepted what even the rejected had rejected. Purely symbolic, no doubt. But a reminder that not only are all beggars choosers, but that all choosers are also beggars...

A decision

A decision is not that which is simple. Its not the shirt you choose to wear to work. Its not the packet of biscuits you hand over to the old desitute lady at the CST signal.

A decision is the one that rips your innards part. It is what leaves you with sleepless nights, as your mind gives form to the outcomes of various choices, conjuring up multiple scenarios with amazing alacrity. You reach out to those forms but they fade away like wisps of smoke.

A decision is that which makes you give up what you are for what you think you can be. That's why its so damn difficult. You have to choose a possibility over an existing state. And the possibility is your expectation of it. It's not a given. You stand naked before your judgment.

A decision is between multiple rights. Multiple points of view. There is a lot of chatter, a lot of noise. You have to cut out the noise, and synchronize with the tune playing in your mind. Let it play. Louder and louder.

A decision is that which confuses you. Between what you want should happen, and what you think will happen.

A decision has serious stakes. Dead earnest, serious, stakes. It's consequences are hard-coded. There is no undo.

A decision does not always make you happy or sad. It's always grey. There are always mixed feelings.

A decision is always taken under incomplete information. With complete information, there is no need for a decision. You have to connect the dots. Fill in the blanks. It will always make you wonder if you have missed out on something. That typical feeling when you leave home, wondering if there's something you forgot to carry along.

A decision is not always between choices that you want. It is between the choices that you have. Or perceive that you have.

A decision is not deterministic. There are no answers at the back of the textbook. There can't be an answer, because there never was a question.

A decision cannot be taken by a machine. Because it involves constructing visions.

A decision, is what makes you human...

Star Wars & Different Professions

A rehash of the immortal "May the Force be with you" line from Star Wars, applied to various professions. With apologies to Messrs Kanobi, Yoda & Skywalker

Teachers
May the Course be with you

Valuations / Accounting / Risk Management
May the Close be with you

Equity Investors
May the Bourse be with you

Interbank Traders
May the Flows be with you

Buyers (of anything)
May the Lows be with you

Archers
May the Bows be with you

Doctors
May the Dose be with you

Gardeners
May the Hose be with you

Music Aficionado
May the Bose be with you

Farmers
May the Hoes be with you

Spies
May the Foes be with you

ENT Specialists
May the Nose be with you

Models
May the Pose be with you

Florists
May the Rose be with you

Pedicurists
May the Toes be with you

Social Worker
May the Woes be with you

Cricketers, Adopt a Sport...

I admire the Indian cricket team for winning the 2011 World Cup. They managed to make even stubborn cricket recluses like me sit for over 8 hours after many many years, during the final. Justifiably, the entire nation is eager to shower its praise and appreciation on them. We already have had announcements of several crores of rupees by various corporations, governments, sports bodies and so on being awarded to them.

Of course, many people will feel that it's too much and is unjustified. I don't believe its unjustified as such, but I do think cricket's share of the pie is disproportionately large. And that has been the case for a long time. Even as a child I remember reading essays, articles and debates on this topic.

It's a typical problem that happens in many areas. The popular thing keeps on increasing in popularity while the others languish. I have observed this, for example, in search engines. The more popular a page is, the more chances it gets shown in search results. This further increases its popularity and its chances, and so on.

If India has to truly develop sports and become a great sporting nation, other sports need to enter this virtuous cycle of popularity. There are many issues with that, but I think cricketers themselves can take a solid step in this regard. They are very well known, and have tremendous visibility as well as resources. Think about it - Sachin Tendulkar promoting badminton, Dhoni endorsing archery, Yuvraj pitching for football. If they can sell shampoos and hair oils, they can definitely sell sports. In any family, the weaker ones need support till they can stand on their own. Cricket can support the rest of the sports.

This is not going to work as a one off thing (I vaguely remember that some cricketers had appeared in ads for the PHL but can't recollect anything after that) It needs concerted efforts over a period of time. Perhaps every Indian cricket team player can be asked to contribute a certain number of hours towards the development of a sport of his choice. The respective sports associations for each sport can have one cricketer as a brand ambassador for that sport. Given the amount of money that cricketers make, I don't think its too much to ask for. And it might actually work!

Versus

I, like many Indians and Pakistanis, am looking forward to a great match tomorrow. May the best team win. May we avoid the cynicism of match fixing and staged excitement. May we all indulge in healthy banter which befits a sporting rivalry that goes much beyond cricket.

Most of all, may we not stop with the game tomorrow.

May we remember that India is facing a country tomorrow that is being roiled by violence and anarchic incidents and is in real danger of becoming a failed state. May we remember that on certain indicators, India doesn't seem too far either.
(Those who wish to refresh their memory can take a look here: http://www.satp.org/satporgtp/countries/pakistan/database/majorincidents.htm)

May we realise that ultimately India will not prosper unless Pakistan is stable.

It is not about Aman ki Asha and cross-border bonding. We may not love, but let us not hate.

I remember as a child, listening to the quarrels that would take place in a neighbour's house. The screams, the sounds of glass breaking. Ugly. And terrifying. No family can be completely happy if its neighbours are not peaceful.

I refuse to believe that the common Pakistani seeks violence and terrorism. I believe most of them desire a stable livelihood, freedom, justice and equality. The principles are common everywhere.But the greatest dangers come from within.

May we remember that the real match is not India versus Pakistan. It is India & Pakistan versus India & Pakistan...

The Princess & The Servant

"Be off, thou vagabond; See no one the Princess shall"
The Guard thundered; The Servant humbly bowed
"O mighty warrior; Meet her if I could but once;
Though sadden her heart beyond reckoning it will;
For painful tidings I bring to her this hour
Of him who was the breath of her life"

"Thou shall meet her then, for a minute or two
But not a moment longer, for I detest thy looks"
Saying so, the Guard threw open the door
The Servant stepped forth & gazed in horror
Sorrow abounded in the closed chamber
With the figure motionless seated in the centre

She turned at the sound of the door
"Is it ye, my faithful, my ardent, my incorruptible?
Long gone ye were, what news do ye bring?"
"Shower not such commendations, Princess
On this minion unworthy and inept
Set out I hath with thy message in hand
Alas, for fate seeps like hourglass and sand
Thy precious message I could deliver not
It transpired what Providence hath wrought"

The Princess rose, her face deathly pale 
"I am but a canoe, cast by the gale
I knew it would transpire, but was in disbelief
Thy tiding now musters a morbid relief"
"Ah Princess, not kindness; thy cruelty I seek
Am I condemned to be pardoned by thee?"
"Grieve not O lackey; Rejoice we may yet
Tell me about him for whom my heart wept"

"His glory blinded the eye, O Princess
As he stepped forth to claim his bride
All the folk present stood in awe of him
His nobility shone through each stride"
"Speak ye now, about her that left me lorn
The one whose unfeeling finger his ring now adorns"

"Seek thy forgiveness, I do, O Princess
For in falsehood I may not dwell
Words will do her scarce justice
For her beauty is beyond compare
The sight of her purifies the wickedest
So many have narrated oft in legend"

"Fie, for now ye have saddened my heart
Is there no redemption, no promise of a start?
Must I look ahead into mere nothingness
Will I not feel once more his sweet caress?"
Saying so, the Princess covered her face
Her mourning could not pierce her gaze


The Servant watched with fists tight
He called out to her with all his might
"Thy despair I cannot bear; I jest no more
Look now Princess, who stands at your door"
At this the Servant stood, and removed his mask
And lo! the Prince was revealed standing at last!

Lost

We were meant to journey together
Hand in hand, the apple of my eye
You said you were always by my side
While I tried to pluck the clouds from the sky
Hush, why has your look now changed
Did their insolent touch rob your innocence?
No don't give me that seductive smile
Bear it I cannot; Nor that look of cunning
I was dancing to the tune that you were playing
Was I wrong to think it held everything?
You were the one with me night and day
Why do I get up and fight you everyday?
I sought comfort in your embrace
Now I shudder at your angry gaze
For I am nowhere, a seed not sown
Will you not awaken and call me your own?

GMD Redux!

I decided that I am bored of the "Gaaon Mein Sabun" line from GMD.

Also, its partial to the people working in the FMCG sector.

So I though of a few alternatives:

Tier 2 Consultant: Sunday ko ppt bana raha hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

Corporate Finance: Documentation sambhaal raha hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

Corporate Banking: SME appraisal kar raha hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

Risk Management: Arbit model bana raha hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

Bank Treasury Sales: Client ke peechhe pada hua hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

Mutual Fund Sales: Client ke double peechhe pada hua hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

Business Analyst: Google pe search maar raha hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

IT Consultant: Design nahi coding kar raha hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

Executive Assistant: Secretary ka kaam kar raha hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

Conglomerate: Yahaan se wahaan toss ho raha hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

Equity Research: Faaltu ke view de raha hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

Financial Markets Trader: Andhere mein teer maar raha hai, jhooth hai uska hasna

HR: Baithke frax maar raha hai, sach hai uska hasna...

Liberate

I wait for thee, my beloved
With longing unrestrained
The darkness grows beyond bearing
I yearn for thy sweet embrace
When thy cold lips kiss my forehead
Alone shall I know peace
Delay no longer, I beseech thee
For now regret I have none
A moment if allowed to escape
Will snatch the rays of the sun
'Tis an irony, a jest I hate
That men control naught of fate
The one holding must let go
And the one letting go holds
So I seek thee, my darling
Release me from this void
This ordeal, this abject surrender
This continuum of consciousness
My tired eyes can bear no more
Arise, I pray & liberate me...

Valentine's Day...

"Where are you off to?" He asked.

"Umm...No where in particular, Dada. Just going to meet a friend" She replied

"What's her name? Where does she stay?"

"She stays close by. Near New Market."

"Come back soon. I told you I don't want you loitering outside today. It's a big day for our party. Workers will be active all over the state. I don't want you to get hurt"

"What nonsense. I will just tell them my brother works for the Party. Then they won't harm me right?"

"Aarti, you know very well that a mob doesn't listen"

"Dada, I really don't agree with what you all are doing anyway. What's the problem with celebrating the day? It's just one more occasion for happiness. A day to express your love for everyone. Not just the boyfriend-girlfriend thing"

"It's not in our culture Aarti. People just take the name of that Christian saint and use it to corrupt the youth. Have you read up on the history of this day? Do you know what things people do under the garb of celebrating? So many innocent girls get trapped. We have to end this nonsense once and for all. At whatever cost."

"Ohh, so spreading love is not in our culture, but beating people and molesting women is? I don't agree, Dada. You want to know where I am going? I am going to get a present for my Valentine"

"Aarti! How dare you? I will skin you alive? Who's that b------?"

"What language! That too in front of your younger sister? He's a guy I have known and loved since childhood. And I won't let you stop me"

"Aarti, stop I say!"

He ran after her but she was too fast for him.

"Just you come back, girl. I wont leave you alive"

He came back into the room and plonked himself on the sofa.

The hours passed. He was getting updates practically every minute on the news channels.

"In Mangalore today, some girls and boys partying in a pub..."

"...and then were made to tie rakhis despite protesting their innocence"

 "...Commissioner has assured that law and order will be upheld..."

"Women must learn to behave decently in public..."

"....against our culture..."

"...being ruined by westernization"

"...is used as a guise for conversions..."


Suddenly, while flipping, one of the channels caught his attention. He quickly switched back to that channel.


"In a shocking incident, a young girl was set on fire by an angry mob allegedly belonging to the --- in Amravati. The party is known to be amongst the most virulent protesters against..."

He switched off the TV and dialled a number. No response.

"Ho, Saaheb. Mee TV var baghitlo. Ti mulgi Goverment hospital madhe aahe. Mee baghun yeto" (Yes Sir, I saw in on TV. The girl is in the Government hospital. I will go and check). He hurried outside.

Beads of cold sweat were forming on his forehead as he headed near the ICU of the hospital. A ward boy tried to stop him, but he brushed him aside.

His mind had not prepared for the sight beyond. A burnt figure, swathed in bandages lay on the bed. The figure looked at him with a questioning glance. There as a gleam of recognition in it's eyes. Murmuring something which he didn't hear, the figure breathed its last.

His fingers were trembling. He saw a charred paper in the corpse's hands and pulled it out. It was a greeting card. On it was written

"My sweetest Dada,

I dedicate this day to you, my Valentine, the person I admire and love the most. The world is too small and life is too short for us to spread hatred and violence. Let us all learn to live in peace and harmony.
                                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                        Your loving sister,
                                                                                                                                                           Aarti"

The ward boy was knocking frantically on the superintendent's door.

"Sir, please come outside; There's a man in the ICU who's not responding at all. He's just sitting still like a stone..."

Outside, cries of victory could be heard

"Videshi  tyohaar baaher kara, Maharashtrechi laaj vaachva" (Discard foreign festivals, preserve Maharashtra's modesty)

"Jai Maharashtra!"

Bambaiya Chai

A long, long time ago
On an island far away
People used to laugh & cry
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could set them in a romance
And maybe they’d be happy for a while

But those maniacs made me shiver
I shuddered with every ticker
Only bad news could be heard
I couldn’t type one more word

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about the destroyed pride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the feel-good died

So bye-bye, ohh Bambaiya Chai
Drove my City to the Tapri
But the Tapri was dry
And them true blue boys eating spicy fish fry
Singin I won't stay in this pig sty
I won't stay in this pig sty...

The Mumbai Local Train Hierarchy

The one unable to afford it wishes he could just hop on. The one forced to travel on the roof wishes he had place to hang from the door. The one hanging from the door wishes he could get a foothold inside. The one just inside the door wishes the pressure would reduce just a bit so he could go grab on to a handle. The one grabbing on to a handle wishes he could go into the middle. The one in the middle wishes he could take support at the side walls. The one at the side wall wishes he could stand in the seat gangway. The one in the seat gangway wishes he could get the '4th seat'. The one in the 4th seat wishes one person leaves so he can move to the 3rd seat. The 3rd seat wishes the person in the middle seat leaves. The person in the middle seat wishes the person in the window seat leaves. The person in the window seat facing opposite the direction of travel wishes he could get the window seat facing the direction of travel. The person in the window seat facing the directoion of travel wishes he could travel by first class.
Finally, the person in the window seat facing the direction of travel in 1st class wishes he didn't have to travel by train!

Invictus for the Bear...

Out of the leverage that covers me,
Green as the dollar from bank to bank
I thank whatever Gods may be
For my unconquerable short

In the fell clutch of bullishness
I have neither cut nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of volatility
My position is lossy but unstopped

Beyond this place of QE and liquidity
Looms but the horror of the debt,
And yet the menace of the quarters
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the trend
How charged with punishments the bear
I am the master of my view
I am the captain of my short

iPhone 4 price in India...

I have been itching to lay my hands on the iPhone 4.

But Apple's India pricing generally leaves me feeling very uncomfortable.

I have been trying to estimate what they are likely to set as the price for the iPhone 4.

The simplest way of doing this, I felt, was to see prices of other similar Apple products worldwide with those in India and work out some sort of "Apple exchange rate"(I call it that because Apple products in India are priced much higher than what they would be if one directly converted using the exchange rate. I am not sure whether its custom duties or arrogance or both)

Unfortunately, I cannot use the iPhone 3GS as a reference because Apple doesn't mention an official price for it on their India website. I need something which has readily available India and international prices.

The iPod Touch, 4th generation, is a good fit in that respect.

So I went ahead, comparing prices:

iPod Touch	USD	HKD	SGD	GBP	INR
8 GB	229	1788	328	189	15400
32 GB	299	2288	428	249	19900
64 GB	399	3088	588	329	25900

Dividing the INR price by the corresponding foreign currency price and averaging it allows me to work out the "Apple exchange rate" versus the actual exchange rate. Here are the rounded figures:

	Actual Rate	Apple Rate
USD-INR	46.5	66
GBP-INR	72	80
HKD-INR	6	8.5
SGD-INR	35	46

A glance tells me that Apple is kindest when it comes to Hong Kong, as far as pricing is concerned. The UK suffers the most.

Next step, work out the implied India iPhone 4 pricing using actual and Apple exchange rates. I have excluded the US since there is no non-contract iPhone 4 price available.

iPhone version	HKD	GBP	SGD
16 GB	4988	499	888
32 GB	5888	599	1048
INR -Actual Exchange Rates			INR - Apple Exchange Rates
HKD	GBP	SGD	HKD	GBP	SGD	Likely Price
29928	35928	31080	42398	39920	40848	41000
35328	43128	36680	50048	47920	48208	49000

So the iPhones in India may be priced at 41k and 49k respectively. Startling differences here! If I were to believe in this study, buying the iPhone from Hong Kong, or even Singapore, makes a lot of sense. Theres a site called http://www.shopyourworld.com/shop/ which claims to ship iPhones from the UK; they are better off trying to get it from HK / Singapore (provided they have the necessary contacts)! Its an unlocked version that you get there (unlike the US) so no fuss about that either. So grab hold of that friend whos going to HK on a weekend trip, and save 11000 rupees! Of course, getting it into India is the tricky part. What customs duty will be applicable? I am honestly not aware. But I do know it will be difficult to stomach the ignominy of shelling out 41k for an iPhone 4 in India, knowing that the same thing costs 30k in the HK (and less than 41k throughout most of the world)

Why make Indians pay more, Mr Jobs?

Ekonomikrisis - 9th September, 2010

Keeping a promise made long back to myself, I shall try and post my views on economics, financial markets and the rest regularly. Please feel free to contribute, debate, challenge and criticize.

I am fairly puzzled by the recent rally in financial asset markets, Indian equities in particular. Given the current state of things, one can always work out the reasons backwards, but to have predicted that this would have happened was, as always, difficult. I used to laugh on seeing the views touted by the retail gurus on CNBC, but so far they have been right and I have been wrong. Therefore I am forced to accept that somewhere the linkages of cause and effect as imagined by me have been incorrect.

While I am quietly confident about the prospects of economic growth in India, I am not overtly bullish the way other market participants seem to be. We have a long way to go, in many aspects, before we can really claim the coveted tag of an economic superpower. And to my mind there are obstacles right now which make unbridled growth in India seem like a pipe dream.

First, there is inflation. One can refer to innumerable examples in economic history which show that inflationary growth is unsustainable. Despite inflation hitting lows in the developed economies (the reasons for which are totally different) and remaining reasonably stable in India's "peer group" i.e. other emerging countries, India continues to suffer from high inflation. A recent article by the Peterson Institute blames this on asset price inflation (land in particular) and I am inclined to agree with them. Flats in Powai are selling for 15000 rupees a square feet. I heard of a recent sale of a flat in Bandra for 11 crores at a rate of close to 65000 per square feet! Of course it is too chauvinistic to extrapolate from Mumbai anecdotes and generalize them for the whole of India, but it does put things in perspective. Indian equities enjoy a premium of as much as 40% over bottom up valuations, as per some equity analysts. But the market continues to clear because everyone wants a slice of the pie - every financial asset manager has some portion of his money in India. Apart from asset prices, another culprit has been food price inflation. Some people are willing to take a call that with the monsoons doing well, food price inflation is likely to subside. However, I am not as sanguine because the world's supply of food continues to teeter on the edge with respect to the demand. With disturbing weather patterns and increasing protectionism, things may not be as simple.

And the RBI is not able to help as much as it would like to. They view the problem of inflation in India as partly structural due to intrinsic capacity constraints. Additionally, a lot of the country's financing needs are met outside the regulated financial system. Variations in the benchmark policy rates doesn't help them because they are dependent on an inelastic, exorbitant system of financing through local moneylenders and the like.

Compounding the RBIs problems is the fact that we have witnessed the worst recession since the Great Depression and a reasonably sharp recovery in less than 2 years. The strong action taken by policymakers post the Great Recession of 2008 has stopped the pain temporarily at least, but also confused everyone as to where in the economic cycle we stand currently. Thus, the RBI is forced to lag the monetary tightening cycle, taking baby steps as it tries to evaluate where the world and India stand. Short term real interest rates are negative, with inflation at 10% and one year deposit rates around 6%.

Coming to the second point - the fiscal deficit. One of the lessons from the Great Recession has been that governments should learn to run a proactive countercyclical fiscal policy. Essentially they should act like the proverbial ants in the ants and the grasshopper story. When the country is growing well, the government should minimize spending and borrow less, thereby keeping some cushion for it to act with force in times of crisis. In times of a recession, the government can borrow more and spend more, keeping the economy going.

The current government had an excellent opportunity to do that. With the money coming in from the 3G auctions and PSU disinvestments, plus overall robust tax collections, they could have cut down on the huge debt to GDP ratio (which is actually amongst the worst in the world) and built up a war chest to help the nation in times of strife. During the recession, they increased the fiscal deficit to support the economy, which was necessary. Unfortunately they are not reducing the fiscal deficit now. They continue to succumb to populist measures and increase spending and subsidies. I remember Mr Willem Buiter, Citigroup's Chief Economist, mentioning in a talk: The Indian government subsidizes its borrowings by various means such as the SLR (Statutory Liquidity Ratio) requirement on banks, which ensures that there is a forced market ready to buy government bonds.

If one looks at the implications of the inflationary scenario and the tepid fiscal outlook, there is a case for saying that India's interest rates currently are much lower than what they should be. Things are unlikely to continue as they are for an extended period. Something's going to give.

The third point is India's current account deficit. India has historically had a current account deficit post Independence (somewhat paradoxical for a nation that in the past few thousand years was one of the lynchpins of global trade). The Indian economy was highly insular. As mentioned by Paul Krugman, India had a philosophy of trying to meet all its requirements internally, even if it was at a tremendous cost disadvantage, where free trade would have made sense. It is only in the past 10 years or so that software exports and capital flows have provided some semblance to the deficit. India is still forced to import much of its oil requirements and capital goods. Currently, India is able to just about finance the current account deficit (i.e. meet its foreign exchange requirements) through the capital account. Woe betide us if the world economy goes into a crisis mode again, for all the capital that we are enjoying right now will fly away in no time. The only positive, in a perverted manner of speaking, will be that our own growth will also suffer, bringing down the oil and capital goods imports and easing pressure on the balance of payments.

So yes, I am positive on the Indian economy. But I can't put blinkers over my eyes and declare that there is nothing rotten in the state of Denmark. Its probably the time to be calfish, not bullish.

RIP, Robert Frost...

Whose stops are these I think I know
His desk is in the other bank though
He will not see me standing here
To watch his stops filling up slow

My little model must think it queer
To position without a TP near
Between the hols and the year close
The most illiquid evening of the year

He gives the screen a reminder shake
To ask if there is some mistake
The only other sound's the beep
Of rejected bids and views fake

The stops are lovely, large and deep
But I have positions to keep
And pips to go before I TP
And pips to go before I TP...

Indian, Idle...

The divergences continue to widen. The bottom 90% struggles to have an existence, while the top 10% is bored of it.

With more modes of communication and information exchange, there is actually less tolerance and greater expression of intolerance. How did we end up here? Weren't we always the most the pluralistic, tolerant and accommodative society? Or was it just a pipe dream?

What gives people the right to use violence and intimidation in enforcing their moral codes on others? How dare they do it? Why does the state machinery fail to tackle them?

How can a person deny me my right to earn to a livelihood in any part of the country? How can he tell me to go back if I don't speak a particular language?

Communalists hold people hostage at will. A person who once burned the Constitution had the cheek to say that the new rupee symbol is not representative of his state because it incorporates Devanagari. Actually, till I met some people from his state, I always thought language was a means of inclusion. Post that, I realised it could be a means of exclusion as well.

We see disaster looming in the Commonwealth Games, and give ourselves an indulgent pat on the back, taking pride in the fact that we knew all along something would go wrong. Had we really been concerned, the top official would have been publicly lynched by now.

Kashmir burns. How long are we going to drag things? Are body counts subservient to national pride? Why can we not swallow our ego and accept our ineptitude in resolving the conflict? Why can't we just let go? And to our displaced Kashmiri brethren who pine for their homeland, why can we not promise a better life in the rest of India?

I have been hearing the same recyled stuff for so many years that I have lost count.

And yet I sit quietly typing out on my laptop, truly representative of everything thats going wrong...

Market Update - 23rd July 2010

K Q Nacht, a leading investment bank, downgraded its assessment of the US economy from "Might Be Screwed" to "Really Screwed" with a "Does It Matter" outlook.

Global Strategy Head of K Q Nacht, Mr Jonathan Iamdone emphasized the change in the tone of the Fed Chairman in his recent testimony to the House Banging Services Committee.

"The Chairman used the term 'unusually uncertain' in describing the economic outlook, while the market consensus was for 'certainly unusual'. K Q Nacht uses a proprietary semantic parser that constructs the Policymaker Verbal Surprise Index, which shows that this phrase introduced a downward bias of 0.031% in our projections. We are accordingly downgrading our assessment of the US economy"

In other news, the messiah of funda-mental investors, Mr Darren La Carte, has reiterated that he continues to be bullish on equities. "Augmented US unemployment at 16% is very bullish for equities, as companies will have no business to conduct and will sit on a pile of cash which will be shown as perpetual net profit every year"

The Darren La Carte of India, Mr Mahesh Rattlewala, echoes similar sentiments. "I think India is decoupled from the rest of the world. Banks are able raise foreign money at 500 bps over LIBOR. Of course, they may not be able to lend to anyone at those rates, but atleast they are able to raise."

Petrified Bank of India Governor, E Shaamkolao reiterated that Indian food price inflation would come down and hence there was no need for monetary tightening. "Potatoes, from current prices of Rs 105 / kg, will start costing Rs 110 / kg - a clear reduction in food price inflation from 10% to 5%. Of course, people not being able to buy at these prices at all, is a separate trivial issue. Inflation would have come down and hence we must keep interest rates low."

Separately, the Committee of European Banging Supermisers published the results of its stress tests late yesterday night. The summary states "We do not foresee any double dip, except in chocolate..."

The Diary Of A Terrorist

Day 3:
I shiver with the bitter cold. M offers me some dry fruits. "Eat this" he says. "The mountains are treacherous. Many a brave man has lost his soul fighting the harsh winds"

Day 6:

"You will dress up like them. Jeans, t-shirts, sports shoes. Nothing out of the ordinary. Is that understood?" N interrupts "Sir, can we get to see Deepika Padukone once?" M breaks into a crooked smile. "You will see her eventually anyway..."

Day 8:

"Q got killed. Someone blew his cover. The police didn't think he had any important information. So they made it look like an encounter.We need to be careful. Don't go about wandering too much" For the first time, M looks afraid.

Day 11:

"Is everyone clear? P enters through the north overbridge. S will be on platform 2. K will be standing at the entrance with the bag. Once the fast train reaches at 8:56 AM, K will enter" M looks at me "K, you will need to be really careful with the bag. It should not shake too much before time."

Day 12:

"Look at that couple in the corner there. How shamelessly they are at it." P looks at me with a grin. The breeze on the pomenade is soothing. "No girl would have ever fallen for you" I tease him. "You never know" P says "There is still some time left"

Day 13:

The pigeons flutter about the beautiful building. Sunlight streams in through the windows. Slowly, the empty platforms start filling. With people. The people who are always in a hurry to get somewhere. The people who think it all really matters. The people who don't realise it's ultimately the dark alley in which all our paths must meet.

I clasp my bag tightly. Salvation is at hand.

Market Shaayaris...

The next logical step arguably...Here goes:

Pyaar kamjor dil se kiya nahi ja sakta,
Zeher dushman se liya nahi ja sakta,
Market ka trend jab ho ek tarfa,
Uske khilaaf position liya nahi jaa sakta

Bechara kuch is adaa say rukh hi badal gaya,
Ek shaks saarey market ko stop out karaa gaya

Har dil ka ek raaz hota hai,
Har baat ka ek andaz hota hai ,
Jab tak na lage stop ki thokar,
Har kisi ko apni view par naaz hota hai

Milake Nazarse Nazar Loot Lenge,
Ye Bewafa Jalwe Jigar Loot Lenge,
Currencies Pe Hargiz Bharosa Na Karna,
Khudaki Kasam Ye Desk ke Desk Loot Lenge...

Real economy ki imaarto mein kahin bandagi nahi,
Aur leverage ke Masjido mei Khuda ko dhoondte hain log...

Kuch Aussie banay, kuch Kiwi banay,
Kuch Loonie, kuch Real huay,
Is carry trade ki chaahat mein,
Jaane kitne barbaad huay...

Levels toottay hain, momentum Ka samaa hota hai,
Aise mausam mein hi to trend jama hota hai,
Flow ki baaton ko hoton se nahi kahte,
Yeh fasaana to price action se bayaan hota hai...

Aag suraj main hoti hai,
Jalna dharti ko padta hai,
Trade client karte hain,
Tadapna saleswaalay ko padta hai

Josheela bhalay aaghaaz ho, ek baar to aaram karna padta hai,
Bullaana bhalay andaz ho, ek baar to short karna padta hai...

Kashish honi chahiye yaad karne ki,
Lamhe to apne aap mil jaate hain.
Limits honi chahiye trade karne ke liye,
View to apne aap ban jaate hain..

B Grade Movies Meet Financial Markets...

Travelling around Mumbai has its advantages. If one is observant enough, some walls are adorned with posters from the latest...errr...mass entertainment motion pictures. I was just wondering what the results would be like if we had similar titles for the horrors encountered everyday in financial markets. A sample:

Kamsin Cable Pe Arabi Fida

Yen Anaadi, Dollar Khiladi

Pyaasa I Banker

Euro Ki Jawaani

Zahreela Fed

Sulagte Stops

Khooni Krosses

Shaitaani Dealing Room

Vaayda - The Future

Patni Short, Padosi Long

Bhayaanak Trade

Bid Humaar, Offer Tohaar

Vahshi Hedge Fund

Baagi Investor

Petticoat Mein Rate Float

Garam Technicals
 
Souten Ka Spread

Trader Bana Salesman

Qatil Economist